A round-up of the weeks Social Media interactions. Some are funny, some you’ll need to read the conversation to understand the context.

LATEST 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐒:

“Honest officer, there I was getting pissed out my brains and these two blokes tried to inject her and cart her off but luckily I knew what was going on and so had no choice but to batter fook out of them. The whole bribe thing is a mistake, I merely said I’ve got all these banknotes that I’ve signed and would he like them coz they’ve got my autograph on them.”

Mastodon

𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐒:

@timttmy sent us his Pleroma config file. Source

@penguin42 wants to know why welders were working next to fireworks in Beirut. Source

@mhamzahkhan is appalled that anyone who is on Furlough could potentially lose their holidays: As it turns out they can’t, legally. Source

@MunkyBone goes all Blue Peter in his attempts to secure a Raspberry Pi to the back of the TV. Source

@stardot is going into the tee shirt business. Source

@sullybiker gets angry at blog posts with command examples where each command is prefixed with sudo: We suggest writing to him “Dear sudo sullybiker…….” he’ll love that. Source

@penguin42 suspects, we may have locked someone in the office. Source

@xvilo is worried Trump will discover his Mexican lineage and so is claiming to be Belgian. Source

@ghostdancer said something about Charlie: Your guess is as good as ours? Source

@silkevicious is thinking of going into the website creation business: Don’t do it, you’re too young to lose an arm and an eye along with a busted lip. Source

@tpheine says we’ve given him wind. Source

@basil says “No more sprouts for you” Source

@andycrefuses to believe a Greek policeman was offered a bribe. Source

@jamie is trying to make out he doesn’t know who Ronnie Pickering is which is a lie because everyone knows who Ronnie Pickering is, or should that be what? Source

@Luke knows another Youtube celebrity. Source

@h4890 employs real people rather than spineless individuals too scared to say the wrong thing. Source

@csgeek has obviously been released from prison and is now back on the Social Media scene and lamenting the demise of TDTRS. Source

@wyliecoyoteuk raises our hopes by telling us we might just get what we wish for. Source

Twitter

@FeruzM asked if we’d rather not know or get notifications about retweets. We think the answer is pretty obvious when people are moaning about the deluge of notifications. Source

@steevc invited us to go for a run with him. Mans an idiot, the only time humans need to run is when there’s Rozzers involved! Source

@TentaclesMedia was a serial “Beautiful” poster on Steemit but is now rehabilitated and writes at least a sentence in the comments box. Source

@snookatz is too tired sometimes to comment more than one word. No Comment, damn, that’s two words. Source

@kevie49 is considering a cruise on SS Contagious. Source

@BoneheadUnkle is thinking of creating a cult. Source

@ahmadmanga is grateful to @NathanMars7 for filling his Twitter feed. He feels really loved now. Source

@NathanMars7 has power naps. Source

@face2face_hive said onnm. We have no idea what that means but then later they said it was a typo and that there should have been only one m we’re even more confused now as there is only one m? Source

@heeedt says we are not allowed crayons because we’ll only eat them which is an improvement on “You’ll only shove them up orifices!” Source

@Gadgetoid said that ordinarily they would ask us to come by for a chat which is a nice idea if they didn’t live hundreds of miles away. Source

@route4y said that maybe Hive users have found a better use of their time. Saying stuff like that is a great way to be accused of being Toxic by the Happy Clappy brigade we say. Source

@roelandp fixed ‘Laggy’ Hive. He’s our hero. Source

@fabsh like his predecessors is clandestinely rebuilding the Luftwaffe. Source

Hive Blockchain

@pommom is now too famous to do the washing up. Source

@ericwilson appreciates us. Source

@fknmayhem is back from the dead! Last time we spoke to him he was in a hospital bed with a puss bag for a head. Source

@snook did not buy her Rep, she worked hard for it like the rest of us. Source

@jaynie is running a competition to use as many hashtags as possible, also known as “Covering all the bases” Source

@priyanarc will have a tropical rainforest on her windowsill once she starts using Miracle Grow. Source

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