I’m staying in today!

https://i2.wp.com/www.reidcooper.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/signs-24034_640.png?resize=76%2C69&ssl=1I’m one of those people you meet in life that ‘things’ happen to. I suppose I should be grateful; I can at least say my life is never boring?

Every Saturday Charlie and I, Charlie is a dog, by the way, go to put fuel in my car and then we have a little ride round the town simply because Charlie loves going in the car. This morning I pulled up to the fuel pump, put my fuel in and headed inside to pay only to be presented with a bit of a queue. Something was wrong with the guy at the front’s card, and the assistant seemed to be getting flustered. Finally, I paid for my fuel and went to move my car to the air machine. As you can imagine, everyone was dying to get off the pumps having been held up inside the shop for so long and so I let a guy out in a van which was a fatal mistake! A woman in a VW Beatle nipped in front of the air machine “Excuse me” I said “I was just about to use that!” there then ensued some heated words from the battle-axe old mutton dressed up as lamb as she accused me of being parked at the pump which I wasn’t. “OK, don’t get your knickers in a twist. Carry on, I’ll wait.” I said as she flounced off relishing what she believed was a small victory. She then proceeded to study the machine, looked in her purse and guess what? She doesn’t have the right change for the damn thing! Charlie and I settled down for a brief nap given how long all this was taking and after what seemed like ages she finally pulled off. Clutching my 20p piece, I nipped round all four wheels and two minutes later we were on our way to that culinary mecca McDonalds.

Image result for sausage and egg mcmuffinMy daughter had asked me to pick her up a Sausage and egg McMuffin. Now I should point out we always get Charlie a meat patty if we visit McD’s 99% of the time everything is fine. However, there are the odd occasions when it all goes horribly wrong.

Me: “Hi, can I have two sausage and egg McMuffins.”
Speaker: “Is that a meal?”
Me: “No, just two on their own, please.”
Speaker: “OK, anything else?”
Me: “Yes, I’d like a sausage patty on its own, please.”
Speaker: “You want a sausage and egg on its own no bun or cheese?”
Me: “No, I’d like the sausage meat on its own.”
Speaker: “So you want that on a tray?”
Me: “Umm? If you say so?”
Speaker: “OK drive round to the first window, please.”

1st Window
Assistant: “That’ll be £2.49, please.”
Me: “Aye? For all that food?”
Assistant: What did you order?”
Me: “Look, let me try and be as polite as possible. I want two sausage and egg McMuffins on their own, no drink, no hash brown OK? I then also want the sausage meat, look, for this dog, sat here, no buns, no eggs, no cheese just the meat.”

2nd Window
The assistant starts to hand me a knife and fork and what looked like two pots of salad dressing.

Me: “What’s this?”
Assistant: “Oh, what did you order?”
Me: “Sigh, two sausage and egg McMuffins and a meat patty on its own no egg, cheese or buns.”
After a couple of minutes of faffing around finally someone with half a brain cell shoved my order in what looked like a paper carrier bag and I left for home.

Daughter: “Where have you been? We were getting worried.”
Me: “Just take this lucky dip bag that McDonald’s has given me. Your guess is as good as mine as to what’s in it!”
Daughter: “Oh, dear.”
Me: “I’m not going out again!”

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Dad’s ticking time bomb

Dad in yet another bike race.
Dad used to race bikes being sponsored by a local outlet still trading today Harry Perry Cycles – Woolwich

Back in 2003, my dad was taken seriously ill when his aorta tore. Fortunately, he was taken to the hospital in time where they repaired the damage and inserted a stent. Little did anyone know, this was going to be that start of him steadily being poisoned by his own systems.

Fast forward to 2019, and about a month ago and the Ticking Timebomb showed itself, Dad passed a large amount of blood when visiting the toilet. Realising this wasn’t good, he contacted the doctors who immediately had him taken into hospital. After running various tests, they realised something serious was going on, and they would need to open him up to have a look.  It was soon discovered that the stent, along with the original repair, was heavily infected but that wasn’t the worst! The repair to the aorta had attached itself to the intestine and over time had effectively eaten into the intestine which, as you can imagine, caused a two-way flow, blood flowing directly into the digestive system but worst of all, faecal matter was flowing into his blood system.

The surgeons separated the aorta and intestine and cleaned up as best they could but little did anyone realise just how bad and extensive the infection was but after a week or so, dad appeared to be on the mend and was discharged from hospital. The plan was to give him antibiotics for the rest of his life to manage the infection rather than clear it up because apparently, that was not going to be possible it would require further surgery which would most definitely kill him. Dad was only out of the hospital a few days when he was taken back in again by ambulance just over a week ago. Dad’s condition had basically nose dived and was very poorly; it was then we learned that his brain had become infected.

In my opinion, dad was about 85% cognisant and could (I think) understand what was being said to him although you could only understand bits of what he was saying, most of it was gibberish a bit like a stroke victim.

Last Thursday I spoke with a doctor on the phone who said that I should get to the hospital as soon as possible because they didn’t think he would last the night. When I arrived he was in a terrible state, his breathing was like someone who couldn’t get their breath with the added problem of what sounded like fluid in the lungs plus you could tell his brain was basically on fire we called his his Vicar and Dad was given what in effect is the Church of Englands ‘Last Rites’. The following day my brother called me, fully expecting him to say dad had passed away my brother said that not only was dad still alive but he was sat up, talking (Gibberish), he’d had some dinner and pudding and had asked for a bedpan! I was gobsmacked! Sadly, it was false hope. He steadily went downhill Friday and Saturday, and when I visited Sunday, he was very agitated. They had tried dialysis but after one and a half sessions his body just wouldn’t accept the treatment so that meant that on top of the infection his blood was now toxic too!
The whole family was there on Sunday including my cousin, who I’d not seen for probably thirty years! We tried to make dad as comfortable as possible and agreed to start a very low dosage (2.5) of morphine. The doctors advised us that they thought he had three days left but that he wouldn’t see the week out and so with that in mind I planned to have a bit of a break and visit him on Wednesday. While getting ready for work this morning, I had the dreaded phone call at around 6:15, the hospital had contacted my brother with the sad news my father had passed away. As you can imagine, I was stunned. I was speaking with him only 12 hours earlier, OK, so he said he was in the boot of a car upside down, but it was a conversation even if it was strange.

Death is a funny thing like that, you can’t get your head around how you can be speaking with someone one minute, and they are gone the next.

I’m now officially an orphan given my mum passed away two years ago in September so I suppose that will mean yet another number in my mobile phone I won’t be able to bring myself to delete.

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