The Friday before Oggcamp is possibly one of the best experiences you’ll ever have. Lots of excited people desperate to meet one-another and throw alcohol down their throats. The nights revelry was planned for a pub called The Plough which according to that inbred ‘get a bleedin hair cut’ Mark Johnson was “Only five minutes down the road from the venue.” I decided to walk down and braved the dual carriageway.
Now I did have a quick look at Google maps about two days prior and remembered I had to turn right by the venue so this I duly did. As you would expect the road I was on was yet another fecking ‘lets drive like loons’ road but fear not dear reader, cars are the least of your problems! I am now a devout cycle hater, sorry but there it is. These utter swine tear up the footpaths like some latter day Barry Sheene. with total disregard for pedestrians. In fact I’ll go further, these complete and utter low life’s look at you as if to say “What the feck are you doing walking on a footpath.” seriously, I was passed at Mach 1 speeds by at least 20+ cyclist’s of whom only two bothered to ting their pathetic bell at me. I did on a couple of occasions look back to see if any of these death riders was approaching me and both times I saw these bastards cranking the pedals even harder so that if they did knock me down the chances of a hit and run was entirely possible!
I had been walking for ages and still was in the middle of the countryside? “Where the hell am I I thought?” it was as if I was walking on a treadmill and getting nowhere fast. After a long while I gave up. Clearly this road did not lead to civilisation and everyone heading along it was caught in some sort of time flux purgatory so I decided to head back the way I came. By now it was starting to get dark, fast approaching was a big blue sign with “WELCOME TO OXFORD 3½ Miles” WTF? So I had walked about a mile from the Travelodge, probably four plus miles along this road and now had 3½ to go to get back to where I started!
As I approached the Oxford Hotel I spied a guy in a classic geek shirt “G’day mate, you from Oggcamp?” Actually I’m from Essex but that’s a whole other story. “Yes” I said “But like me you’re going the wrong way I think.” I had met who I would come to call Aussie Guy. We headed back moaning about cyclist’s, prices and Oxford in general.
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