Oggcamp14 – Friday night at The Plough.

The_PloughHaving walked 10 mile I finally arrived at The Plough shagged out and hungry. The pub is actually really nice, a typical English country pub at the centre of a village.

The pub had been warned of our descending on their premises and the ‘Library room’ had been reserved for us. After passing hoards of geeks outside on the grass area, it was a warm and lovely evening, ravenous I ordered Chilli Burger and Chips. (burger again?)

Barstaff: “Where will you be sitting?”
Me: “Anywhere you like I’m starving, just tell me where to sit.”
Barstaff: “Why don’t you sit there and I’ll bring your food to you.”

I duly sat opposite the bar as instructed. After a few minutes a blond-haired women who I suspect was the landlady suddenly barked at me;

Landlady: “If you’re going to sit there I’m opening the back room!”
Me: “Pardon me?”
Landlady: “It’s not fair for me to close off the back room if you’re all going to spread yourselves out all over the place.”
Me: “Excuse me, I was told to sit here? I have ordered some food.”
Landlady: “Well you’ll have to eat it in the back room.”

IMG_20141004_135414Rather stunned at this alternative style of hospitality I dragged my aching legs into the Library come back room. Now I don’t drink alcohol normally but I make an exception for Oggcamp and consumed copious amounts of Hadleys real ale (I think that was what it was called) in fact we drank so much real ale we drank every last drop in the pub!

I think the pub owners and staff were overwhelmed by the amount of people there, most of us bought double the amount of whatever drinks we wanted as getting served was a complete nightmare. I did have another run-in with the landlady sadly, due to how busy the place was nobody collected any of the huge dirty plates. I brought mine back and plonked it on the beer tray on the bar which didn’t go down well I’m afraid but in my defence it was taking up valuable beer space on the table.

I love the Friday night it really is fantastic. You get to meet all your friends old and new, talk about loads of things most of which you cannot remember the next day. I spoke with loads of people yet sadly the only one I can really remember was Charlie a two-year old girl who blew me away with her ability to count to 10 both in sign language and normally and was able to recite the ABC!

Oh there was one other, and this was weird. I’d invited my mate Anthony Newman AKA antiphase along. I’ve known him on-line for something like seven or eight years maybe more so it was the first chance to meet him in the flesh as they say. So I’m sat there gobbing off as usual pint in hand and Anthony appears in front of me.

Me: “Oh wow! you made it! Fecking awesome!”
Anthony: “I’ll just get a beer.”

I never saw him again the whole evening! I searched the place high and low, feck knows where he went. People tried to help with “What’s he look like?” All I could say was “How the fook would I know I met him for 20 seconds for the first time in my life!”

As the classic saying goes “Once the beer ran out we all ran out” four or five of us staggered off up the country lane back to the Travelodge.

adam_loves_me[Edit]
I forgot to put the Adam Sweet story in. Oops!

Can I just point out I’ve known Adam for years and he is in fact my mate before anyone gets out their pram.

So Adam was chatting up these two girls, you know the sort of thing “Oh yeah I had a recording contract……..” clearly he was hoping for a ménage à trois. As we was leaving I leant between the two girls, placed my hand on Adam’s arm and said “Mate, your misses says can you hurry up back to the car as your kids are starting to play up.”

The girls walked off and Adam seemed as if he was going to cry for some reason?

[Pictures by George Doscher released under CC]

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Oggcamp14 – Day 1 The event.

Oggcamp14 – The long walk to the pub.

The Friday before Oggcamp is possibly one of the best experiences you’ll ever have. Lots of excited people desperate to meet one-another and throw alcohol down their throats. The nights revelry was planned for a pub called The Plough which according to that inbred ‘get a bleedin hair cut’ Mark Johnson was “Only five minutes down the road from the venue.” I decided to walk down and braved the dual carriageway.

IMG_20141003_183211Now I did have a quick look at Google maps about two days prior and remembered I had to turn right by the venue so this I duly did. As you would expect the road I was on was yet another fecking ‘lets drive like loons’ road but fear not dear reader, cars are the least of your problems! I am now a devout cycle hater, sorry but there it is. These utter swine tear up the footpaths like some latter day Barry Sheene. with total disregard for pedestrians. In fact I’ll go further, these complete and utter low life’s look at you as if to say “What the feck are you doing walking on a footpath.” seriously, I was passed at Mach 1 speeds by at least 20+ cyclist’s of whom only two bothered to ting their pathetic bell at me. I did on a couple of occasions look back to see if any of these death riders was approaching me and both times I saw these bastards cranking the pedals even harder so that if they did knock me down the chances of a hit and run was entirely possible!

I had been walking for ages and still was in the middle of the countryside? “Where the hell am I I thought?” it was as if I was walking on a treadmill and getting nowhere fast. After a long while I gave up. Clearly this road did not lead to civilisation and everyone heading along it was caught in some sort of time flux purgatory so I decided to head back the way I came. By now it was starting to get dark, fast approaching was a big blue sign with “WELCOME TO OXFORD 3½ Miles” WTF? So I had walked about a mile from the Travelodge, probably four plus miles along this road and now had 3½ to go to get back to where I started!

As I approached the Oxford Hotel I spied a guy in a classic geek shirt “G’day mate, you from Oggcamp?” Actually I’m from Essex but that’s a whole other story. “Yes” I said “But like me you’re going the wrong way I think.” I had met who I would come to call Aussie Guy. We headed back moaning about cyclist’s, prices and Oxford in general.

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Oggcamp14 – Friday night at The Plough